First Date Advice: Discover How You Sabotage The First Date and Decrease Your Chances Of Meeting A
by Shawn Nelson, MSA.
If you're single and dating I feel for you.
It's definitely not easy attempting to identify the right person for
There is something you, and millions of
people, do on the first date that pretty much ruins your chances of
identifying a good mate.
YOU'RE UNABLE TO LET
GO OF THE PAST!
Your date is not the person who hurt you,
used you or lied to you! They are new and don't know anything about
you. Why would you allow negative experiences to ruin a golden
It's simple! You're afraid to open up again
and will look for every sign that may indicate they are similar to
those who hurt you.
Do you see what you're doing? You're
projecting your insecurities onto that person. In essence, you are not
allowing yourself to get to know them for who they are.
If yo ha've dealt with your past and it
doesn't affect your dating experiences that's great. But you may still
suffer from something else!
YOU MOVE TOO FAST!
There is no way you could possibly know
someone well enough within three months, six months or even two years
to move in with them or worse to say you love them.
Sure, there may be a connection, the sex may
be fantastic and you two have so much in common. Yet, you know after
six months to a year (sometimes more) people begin to show a different
side of themselves.
You need to ask yourself a very serious
question, “Why am I rushing into a
relationship with this person?” The
answer to that question could save you from getting hurt again.
There's a wonderful guide for women that
will help them understand why they continually suffer from
relationship mistakes, unhappy relationships and a broken heart.
How many times have you rushed and judged
someone or something only to realize you made a huge mistake? It
When you take your time and get to know the
person you'll learn a lot about them and yourself.
If you have never spent at least one year,
preferably two or more, with yourself and do not know what you need
beyond a shadow of a doubt, you should not rush into a relationship. In
my experience, there's a 90% chance it will fail.
I've said this before and I will say it
again…you must continually ask questions, so you can learn
more and more about the person. The problem most people have is they
stop asking after a few weeks, they don't ask enough or they never ask.
To alleviate the problem, you could get the 1000
Questions for Couples Guide and make it into a game. This
way the pressure is off both of you.
Now we get to the question that drives me
crazy, “Are first impressions important?”
Yes and No!
You want someone who is appealing to the
eye, isn't sloppy in his/her appearance and has good hygiene habits.
However, just because they meet that criteria doesn't mean they are a
I don't know about you but I've met
individuals who met the above criteria and were the worse people to be
around! Their personality sucked!
Here's my point!
- Take your time
- Get to really know people
- Figure out who you are
- Don't worry about first impressions too
- Don't settle for less than what you
If you're unable to take an honest look at
yourself then you're pretty much doomed to fail in relationships and
blame others for your problems and mistakes. Is that the life you
desire to lead?
Shawn Nelson, MSA
is a Motivational Speaker, Life Coach and Author who creates guides,
e-Courses and run several web sites that help people achieve their
relationship, personal, life and professional goals. To learn more
visit Love Life Advice
To MrGoodMan's Relationship Advice Articles & News