10 Clues of An Online Affair
- Catch A Cheating Spouse!
Bill Mitchell - Seven
(c) 2005. All Rights Reserved.
obvious online affairs are prevalent today so what can you do? This epidemic is causing the breakup of
countless marriages. How do you know if your spouse is violating the
marriage vows by carrying out an online affair? Let’s look at
typical indicators I personally discovered while investigating affairs.
If your marriage is in trouble these clues will help you be the judge. Caution:
These clues are not confirmation of affair just feasible indicators for
you take into account.
Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line. Who
doesn’t use a computer today? I know a few people. They are
excellent for paying bills, staying in touch with family, friends,
customers, finding street locations, and a host of other productive
endeavors. We can not live without them and shutter when a lighting
storm threaten our usage. Just look at kids and their instant
messaging. They will go without dinner just to keep in touch with their
circle of friends. Try to pull them away, it’s no easy task.
Does your spouse resemble your kid’s magnetism to the
computer? Discover why this need is so powerful before it’s
Passwords, instant message “buddy lists”, internet
email accounts and emails are concealed - even protected from you!
Do you find your spouse needing his “own space” at
the computer? Is there a real reluctance when you ask to know his
passwords? What’s there to hide? These questions all have
obvious answers. The act of hiding information is deceptive by nature.
Of course, those of us who have worked in “Corporate
America” understand the need to protect company secrets. But
what legitimate “family secret” are we hiding?
Listen, any time a spouse becomes secretive with you, it fulfills a
direct need they demonstrate. Why? You are like the judge, referee, or
source of authority creating that “sense of
accountability” over them. Furthermore, they are breaking
matrimonial law if committing adultery. There is, in many courts, a
price to pay!
Computer use after you have gone to bed, when you fall asleep or in the
middle of the night. Have you been awaken by the absence
of your spouse at night and found him at the computer? If this behavior
becomes a pattern you certainly need to be concerned. While work
demands a sense of commitment and loyalty, working late repeatedly
after you have fallen asleep is a little odd.
Your partner abruptly shuts off the internet
and/or computer when you approach. This is panic and
unexplainable behavior. The rationalization is “when all
other contingency plans fail, just shut that thing off and
don’t get caught.” This foolish act is also called
a “computer crash” and has the potential of
damaging both hardware and software. The loss of files occurs when a
computer is cut off abruptly. Many spouses have reported this behavior
just prior to hiring us. We consider it a significant indicator of a
deviant behavior. Now, bear in mind your spouse may be viewing
pornography and fear reprisal. This may explain the need for panic.
The computer and monitor are always positioned away from your sight.
The study of body language has become useful to many investigators,
especially those of us who administer lie detection examinations. An
obvious sign of deception and a common mistake the cheater make is
blocking your view. They need the time to clear a screen, turn off the
monitor, or change to another internet page when threatened with
exposure. Intentionally turning the monitor or laptop away from view is
an indicator they don’t want you to see something. Over time
this act develops into a habit and confers greater freedom from
detection. In most instances, having the lead time to hide the truth
from you is all they need.
Clears all internet history after chat sessions, usage or installs
software to automatically rid this information. There
are times when a computer becomes filled with unwanted files. Computers
run faster when less “temporary” files use up
valuable “ram memory.” This is prudent maintenance
for any computer user. What I am referring to in this sign is the
repeated habit of purposefully clearing information from discovery.
While this information is retrievable through the science of Computer
Forensics, you won’t find it readily available. On the market
now is software that actually helps the cheater. The actual purpose of
this new software tool is to hide any trace of computer internet usage.
Do you find this a little suspicious? I do.
Exhibits a compulsive need to be online and seems defensive when
confronted to stop. “When are you coming to
bed?” “We really need to go, now, what’s
taking so long?” “Can’t you do that
later?” Have you asked these types of questions? Teenagers
often become “obsessed” with instant messaging. If
you have kids who use the computer, you know. They have trouble walking
away from the PC. This same desire or need displayed by your spouse is
cause for alarm. A compulsive, defensive pattern of behavior shows a
strong need to continue. You need to know why.
Shares personal information, photos or events with strangers in emails,
chatrooms or while instant messaging. Setting up a
profile for instant messaging is commonplace. Kids love to fill them up
and share with friends on the buddy list. I’ve witnessed
spouses who send nude pictures of themselves over the internet. They
share very personal information that should be reserved to the marital
home. Maybe it’s time to track this information with software
that collects this data. Today more courts are allowing emails and
computer usage data as evidence. It’s advisable to consult an
attorney in your state beforehand!
Plays online games and frequents “personals”
chatrooms. This is where it starts. Play a few games,
win or loss but then we need to chat. Well if chatting is fine, why not
include your spouse? You can’t, so why do it?
Exhibits the eight warning signs illustrated in “The
More You Know – Getting the evidence and support you need to
investigate a troubled relationship.”
Thirty plus years of investigative experience is poured into this new
release. It’s a “must have” resource
guide for every woman’s personal library.
Bill Mitchell who recently appeared on the
Dr. Phil Show is the author of "The More You
Know – Getting the evidence and support you need to
investigate a troubled relationship." For more
information about the book, infidelity or cheating husbands, visit
For more information
about the book, infidelity or cheating husbands, visit
receive a FREE Special Report entitled Emergency
Infidelity Survival Plan – Top Fifteen Steps to implement
Right Now. If you suspect an affair send an e-mail to
in the subject line.
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