Relationship Reality: Are Your Relationships Based In Reality or Fantasy?

by Shawn Nelson, MSA.
(c) 2005. All Rights Reserved.

As smart as most people think they are you would not believe how many of them fall victim to relationships that are not based in reality.

Within the next two to three minutes, you will uncover if you have had relationships based in reality or fantasy!

I want you to recall a failed relationship and ask yourself one question, "Why didn't it work?"

Initially, you may answer, "They cheated, lied, changed, etc." But be honest with yourself. Without honesty there cannot be any changes within your life.

The truth may be you created a world in which this person could not live up too! "How is that possible," is what you are thinking, "I would never do such a thing!" Maybe not intentionally but you do it! Heck, we all do it until we realize we are doing it!

Too often you project your image of the person onto them. Thus, creating your fantasy person. We see only the image we created.

This is important to recognize early on because at no point did the person ask you to think so highly of them. You focus on their "potential" and figure eventually he/she will get to that place he/she should be to make you happy.

However, once the individual steps outside of the image you created you begin to think, "They changed!" But in reality they were the same all a long.

In essence, what you have done was create a "virtual reality" or "fantasy world" based on the images present in your mind. That is why many of us get hurt in our relationships. We are not realistic but idealistic.

What's the difference between a Realistic person and an Idealistic person?

Realistic:

• A realistic person will go into a relationship with their eyes open
• A realistic person will lay the cards on the table and get down to details of what the relationship is going to be
• A realistic person will speak their mind and say what they feel even though it may hurt the person in the short term
• A realistic person is honest with the individual regarding their life and shows they care about the person and not focused on what they can get from the individual
• A realistic person understands there will be problems and issues but working together they can overcome anything
• A realistic person tends to be more genuine in their love and support
• And much, much more

Idealistic:

• The idealistic person will forgo the communication and move straight into sex
• The idealistic person will say "I love you" quick
• The idealistic person will get emotionally attached quick
• The idealistic person will think, "This is my dream person." Technically, they would be right, as it is a dream they are living and their new mate would be a dream person.
• The idealistic person will cry because their dream relationship did not work out then repeat the process over again
• The idealistic person will blame everyone else for causing the problem but never look at themselves
• The idealistic person lives in a fantasy world where everything works and nothing fails
• The idealistic person is usually kicked square in the face by reality and still will not wake up
• And much, much more!

The question you need to ask yourself is, "Am I a realistic person or am I am idealistic person?" The answer to that question will help you to understand why your relationships end and how to say goodbye to relationship mistakes and avoid unhappy relationships.

Now, don't go out analyzing people and prejudging them. This, as well as everything else you may read on other web sites, is just a guide. Use your common sense and just pay attention when you are dealing with people.

Back To MrGoodMan's Relationship Advice Articles & News